The roads, they are full of fail.

[bunnyjadwiga]

Just when I think I've acclimatized to the wretchedness of Mid-Atlantic states ability to deal with winter weather-- I find out I'm wrong. Guys? They've invented these cool civil engineering tools like SNOW PLOWS, SALT, and CINDERS. You should try using them.

In particular, New Jersey State Department of Transportation increasingly reminds me of the Original Evil Ex-Boyfriend ('Never date a man whose mother calls him Ratnose'); no matter how far I lower my standards, they nevertheless fail to achieve them by a significant amount.*

The roads strongly resembled Noises Off as played by a mediocre community theatre Gilbert & Sullivan troupe.

In particular:

• Parallel processing is good. Parallel snow plowing is clearly a plot to reduce the excess population.
  
• What would possess UPS to put a double-trailer truck westbound on 78 tonight?
  
• There is nothing short of disaster relief that requires shipping earthmoving equipment or Army trucks as Oversize Loads on a night like this.
  
• Mr. Volvo, I don't care how safe your car is, if you dodge between my car going thirty-five in one non-existent lane and the next car over going thirty-five in the other non-existent lane at fourty-five miles an hour, you might want to aim for MORE THAN A CAR LENGTH of space?
  
• Yes. You are a bus. You are bigger than me. Please not to be budging into my lane with randomly. I am not amused.
  
• Playing 'hunt the lane' is not a fun game.
  Finding out where the edge of your lane is by the rumble strips in the shoulder is really not fun.
  Having the rumble strips under your right-hand tire and the right-hand tires of the car in front of you in the same rut as your left-hand tires gives a sensation remarkably like being IT in elementary school kickball.
  
• There are almost no circumstances where it is a good thing for the alley behind my house to be clearer than every state and interstate highway on my way home.
  
• Quote of the night: "I'm from Pennsylvania, buddy! In order for me to be able to merge in front of you, the front end of your car has to be significantly behind the back end of mine!"
  

* Ratnose once managed to show up THIRTY-SIX HOURS late for a date.

Comments

[h3salthea.livejournal.com]

For the inexplicable inability to handle snow, slush, or know what a snow plow is for, Montgomery County FAILS.

Aw c'mon, people...I'm from Long Island and for an inch of slush at least SAND the freakin roads!

There was nothing down this am, nor was there any snow plows. The drive was seriously bad.