The roads, they are full of fail.

[bunnyjadwiga]

Just when I think I've acclimatized to the wretchedness of Mid-Atlantic states ability to deal with winter weather-- I find out I'm wrong. Guys? They've invented these cool civil engineering tools like SNOW PLOWS, SALT, and CINDERS. You should try using them.

In particular, New Jersey State Department of Transportation increasingly reminds me of the Original Evil Ex-Boyfriend ('Never date a man whose mother calls him Ratnose'); no matter how far I lower my standards, they nevertheless fail to achieve them by a significant amount.*

The roads strongly resembled Noises Off as played by a mediocre community theatre Gilbert & Sullivan troupe.

In particular:

• Parallel processing is good. Parallel snow plowing is clearly a plot to reduce the excess population.
  
• What would possess UPS to put a double-trailer truck westbound on 78 tonight?
  
• There is nothing short of disaster relief that requires shipping earthmoving equipment or Army trucks as Oversize Loads on a night like this.
  
• Mr. Volvo, I don't care how safe your car is, if you dodge between my car going thirty-five in one non-existent lane and the next car over going thirty-five in the other non-existent lane at fourty-five miles an hour, you might want to aim for MORE THAN A CAR LENGTH of space?
  
• Yes. You are a bus. You are bigger than me. Please not to be budging into my lane with randomly. I am not amused.
  
• Playing 'hunt the lane' is not a fun game.
  Finding out where the edge of your lane is by the rumble strips in the shoulder is really not fun.
  Having the rumble strips under your right-hand tire and the right-hand tires of the car in front of you in the same rut as your left-hand tires gives a sensation remarkably like being IT in elementary school kickball.
  
• There are almost no circumstances where it is a good thing for the alley behind my house to be clearer than every state and interstate highway on my way home.
  
• Quote of the night: "I'm from Pennsylvania, buddy! In order for me to be able to merge in front of you, the front end of your car has to be significantly behind the back end of mine!"
  

* Ratnose once managed to show up THIRTY-SIX HOURS late for a date.

Comments

[iasmin.livejournal.com]

Epic fail here too. I recommend hard liquor and a kiss from your sweeties. It worked for me.

[selyrabbit.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you are safe. Take care.

[laurensa.livejournal.com]

I'm from Michigan. We not only don't totally freak out at the sight of, like, white stuff falling from the sky, we know how to cope with it! (Ice, OTOH-- even we stay home for ice.) We point and laugh at the idea of two inches of snow being a "major winter event". :-)

[northernwalker]

I'm from Alaska. What is this "bad weather" of which you speak?

We find that the first snowfall of the year thins out the idiots. Of course, that happens in October.

[h3salthea.livejournal.com]

For the inexplicable inability to handle snow, slush, or know what a snow plow is for, Montgomery County FAILS.

Aw c'mon, people...I'm from Long Island and for an inch of slush at least SAND the freakin roads!

There was nothing down this am, nor was there any snow plows. The drive was seriously bad.

[stefsoap.livejournal.com]

And let me add the brilliance of public school districts that let their buses, their children and their teachers stay home, but make the secretaries come in.

Yeah. Right. We all drive Batmobiles that float on ice and no, I didn't have to hack my car out of ice this morning. Thanks for making sure I have a quiet day at work today once I finally got here.

[nostasia.livejournal.com]

The roads here in the DC area definitely FAILED. They knew this storm was coming - did they treat the roads? Of course not. Did businesses let folks out early so they could get home safely? Of course not. Not to mention the water (and ice) soluble driving skills of most of the people around here ...

I spent 4.5 hours on the road last night because I was supposed to pick my mother up from work. Never again.

[iestynapmwg.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* I'm glad you made it home safe (thanks, maziemaus, for calling to let us know! :)

Yeah, with the occasional exception of I-80, pretty much every road in NJ fails. Some still hadn't been treated in any way this morning.

(And a side grumble: if they're not going to even delay opening the office for a few hours, they could at least have arranged for the sidewalk between the parking lot and the building to not be ankle deep in wet slushy stuff...)

[maziemaus.livejournal.com]

I'm just glad you came home safe, though it was about 1.5 hours later than usual