Randomage

[bunnyjadwiga]

I have had a cold for about a week. Beekman apparently had severe ickage (growth spurt? developmental frustration? poor sleep patterns? Mommy ate the wrong things?) for the last two days, so I'm at home today recovering; tomorrow I hope to head north to show him to his great-grandmother, 6 hours away.

Sandra Boyton is a genius; we got Hippos Go Beserk from the library when I checked out the album Blue Moo Internet radio needs more Boyton. Just for the usual people:

We're on Parade, We're on Parade!
We are marching through your closet unfraid!
We're the Uninvited Loud Precision Band,
The best intruding band in all the land!

(Also John Ondrosavic from 5 for fighting singing "I want a big band sound", and of course Neil Sedaka singing "Your Nose" and Davy Jones singing "I want to be your personal penguin". (I bought a second copy of Dog Train too because I couldn't find the first one and it was on clearance at Buy Buy Baby for $1.99).

Beekman and I also loved the "Stand By Me" recording from Playing for Change (worth seeing on Utube): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

Benjamin has already outgrown nearly a bag of stuff; two or three more outfits and I'll freecycle it. I did a calculation on how much we've spent on him so far (not counting day care pre-payment) and it's about $640. Thanks to everyone who bought him stuff and handed down stuff to make that number so small.

Dr. Seuss still rocks, though most people have probably forgotten McElligot's Pool and I had trouble getting to Solla Sollew. Apparently the public library does not have The 500 Hats of Bartholemew Cubbins. On the other hand, they have an excellent selection of audio, including Beethoven's Wig by Sing along Symphonies (yes, silly words to classic symphonic pieces, totally worth it), and a bunch of Schoolhouse Rock. We also borrowed the Election Schoolhouse Rock collection on DVD and when Miss B. comes back from Pesach we will borrow the other collections (they have to be intrasystem loaned). Some my friends would enjoy "Tyrannasaurus Debt" and others "Max the Tax Man". :) Of course "Just a Bill" was still the best.

We also discovered Amy Schwartz, whose Some Babies and A Teeny Tiny Baby are hilarious. I *Know* the mother in Some Babies-- I think I read her livejournal. "I'm a Teeny Tiny Baby... and I know how to get anything I want..."

I'm struggling with child-rearing philosophies again, not least because I know exactly where my background is, and what it means to me; it's a process, especially because I've been a co-parent now for 3 years, and am still struggling with my role here. Fortunately, there's no discipline necessary for Beekman for quite a while yet. I'm not an attachment parent, because with my issues a 'good enough mother' seems a better approach, though sometimes babywearing seems the simplest way to survive. (Though how do you crunchy babywearers get laundry done? Especially emptying the washer and hanging laundry to dry?)

It's striking how much a division childrearing can be. I find I'm worrying about how people will see my willingness to spank in moderation, or, in Miss B's case, our willingness to let her be a free-range kid at some events. (Not the ones where the locals are uptight.) Whether Beekman will ever be the sort of child that I can free-range with comfort will depend on his development and his personal obsessions as he grows.

On the other hand, I find that people are perfectly willing, nowadays, to accept odd or unusual personal arrangements like ours, when a baby is involved. At a certain age, child-friendly adults seem to find that the baby-contact-high wipes away judgementalism... Yes, serious parts of our culture are birth-positive.

For people in the SCA, isn't it amazing how much the attitude towards babies & children has changed? Instead of having to struggle to keep Beekman unobtrusive (as we did with Rose, 15 years ago), I'm touring him around to his Fan Club. Admittedly, I try avoid offending by loud baby in court, babychanging in public, or breastfeeding obtrusively (admittedly there are *some* people I'd rather not breastfeed in front of anyway).

Comments

[ghislainedel.livejournal.com]

I struggle with child-rearing philosophies too. I'd like to attachment parent but the world I live in isn't built for it. I do the best that I can though. I think babywearing to get things done will be easier once he holds his head up and you can wear him on your back. At least that's the theory which I have not yet had the opportunity to test. I do manage to start the laundry and transfer it to the dryer sometimes.

[magdalenavb.livejournal.com]

Have you tried any baby-wearing back carries for when you're cooking or doing laundry? I could put one of my girls in a sling, then slide her around past my hip and to the back. You can do that for a teensy one by putting him in as usual, only head toward your hip rather than shoulder. When you slide him around, he'll be head up. Once he's sitting up in the sling for a hip carry, you just slide him back in that same sitting position. That carry was a freaking lifesaver for me with Anika.

It's really easy to do, but hard to explain. You're not sliding the baby, you're sliding the sling on your body - baby's just moving along with it. Just grab the sling at your shoulder and tug. Maybe put your other hand under him to support his weight so the sling will slide more easily and you can feel where he ends up so you're comfortable that he's secure.

Or if you're using a wrap or a mei tai, you can do a "Superman toss" to get him on your back, then truss him in. I've seen people do that with waaaay tiny ones, though I never got the hang of it until my girls were about 11 months or so.

[lauradi7.livejournal.com]

Baby in snuggly for laundry doing, although it probably depends on how you carry the laundry basket. Basket on hip, baby on front would work.
Barak Raz. My goodness. It's been decades.

[dr-zrfq.livejournal.com]

My own tendency was to raise a free-range kid, or at least try to. He survived, anyway.

Your mention of Dr Seuss, and certain particular stories, reminded me of Tom Smith's song "500 Hats". Tom also has a free (low-fi) version of the song available for listening here.

[paquerette.livejournal.com]

I can hang laundry with baby in sling on my front, though I vastly prefer her in the Ergo on my back.

AP isn't about the trappings, though. You don't need to wear your baby 24/7 or whatever. It's just about responding to their needs as much as possible in order to build the emotional security to get them through later life. Everything I've read on attachment theory states that you don't have to be perfect; good enough is... good enough. ;)

[pedropadrao.livejournal.com]

Incidentally, Devora & I have a hippo for Beekman. What's your address?

[magicksaff.livejournal.com]

I agree with the post above. AP isn't about being a slave but about responding in a natural way to your baby's needs. I used to call it natural parenting before I found the AP moniker. Now with my son? No way... he HATED the sling and being held even (still doesn't like hugs though he's learning LOL)... but I did pick up on things that worked for him. Lil Girl? She LOVED the sling and I used that sucker til she was 3 or so... breastfed her til she was 2 1/2 (MY choice to wean LOL.. she's such a boobgirl) and AP has bred a VERY independent little girl who also knows where her roots are. It's not about being perfect at all. It's about helping your child be independent through 'attachment' concepts early on... but no worries, we had our moments of crying it out (sometimes Mommy needs a timeout). My mom worried it would 'spoil', especially lil Girl but she sees how independent and mature my kids can be... really, what spoils a child? Too many material possessions, giving in to whims that are simply easy and not backing up threats. I've seen so many parents go "no no no no, oh fine, here, now shut up"... message the child takes away? Keep nagging, eventually you'll get your way. My kids know that I need say 'no' only once...