Had a teacher back in grade school... his surname was Heffler but it isn't what we called him :P augh, kids children.

We loved it when folk asked us how many kids we had (and didn't specify)

Chicken: smarter than they look, they will spend time in the garden pretending to eat bugs while actually hollowing out your favorite produce.
Rooster: The unpredictable alarm clock... often broken and will aggressively attack if you try to hit the snooze button.
Turkey: (Tom or Hen, it matters not) Most stupid bird alive, constant occupation is looking for a new, and not so inventive, way to die.
Goose: Very aggressive and very loud, they will warn you of everything and at all hours. You shall be protected from apples falling from the trees, the meter-man, door to door sales people and even your family.